Now, I'm not as svelte as you may think I am. I'm not fat ass, I ride my bike pretty regularly, blah blah blah. But, I'm not the type who should be flaunting his physique, either. Anyways. I'm like 85% of American males, so now you're on board...

So, I order some shirts from BustedTees.com. This one and one that's apparently no longer on the site, which sucks because it's hilarious (It says, "I FOOT Madlibs"). I wear a XL dress shirt for work, but I like to bust out the XXL t-shirts because I'm kind of a schlumpy fella. So, I order a couple of XXL shirts from BustedTees.

Finally, they arrive and I try them on. Holy shit? I know it's Thanksgiving time and all, but surely I haven't gained THAT much weight... It looks like friggin' Under Armour or some shit on me. So, I look at the tag: "XXL Athletic Fit T-Shirt"

Now, is it just me, or is an "athletic fit" XXL t-shirt kind of an oxymoron? Once you get past XL, I think "athletic fit" should be thrown out. What about a "drinking man's fit" or something of that nature? I come from the flannel shirts and baggy jeans day, you bunch of tight cuffed blue jean wearing sweater vest hipsters! I don't even want to look at my man boobs and gut, much less everyone else when they approch to read the humorous slogans.

So, needless to say, I bit the bullet and actually ordered my first XXXL and I feel like a fat ass for it. Watch the XXXL actually be "Homer Simpson Fit" and I'll look like I'm wearing a fucking mumu. It's all very disheartening.