tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371051122009-05-10T10:01:39.835-05:00The Armchair Association: We'll eat the last slice of your pizza and not even think twice about it.Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.comBlogger89125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-47424930131790951782009-05-09T22:47:00.004-05:002009-05-09T23:54:13.765-05:00

Elvis won't leave the goddamned building. Here we go again, another coy cat and mouse game between Brett Favre and the NFL viewing audience. Will he grace us with his presence for one more glorious season? Will he shuffle off in his Wranglers to his farm where he can rustle cattle and toss the pigskin through an old tire hanging from a tree branch? Oh, the suspense! I'm so enamored by it!

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-37488749595827711082009-04-27T22:54:00.002-05:002009-04-27T23:06:22.347-05:00

Three weeks ago the Redskins tried to trade for Jay Cutler. They didn't get him, so they called a "clear-the-air" meeting. "You're our man, J-Camp! We were just fucking around. You know how D-Snide likes to push buttons! *tossles Campbell's hair* Who could be better than you? Now get outta here, you little scamp! We'll see you in a couple of months!" Then last week, they desperately

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-77651524705603270342009-04-25T16:12:00.001-05:002009-05-10T10:01:39.848-05:00

Hi, everybody! Here we are about an hour out of the 74th annual NFL Draft. This is also the 4th annual ArmAss! Drinking & Drafting live blog. Immediately upon turning on NFL Network a moment ago I was greeted by Neon Deion Sanders' smiling face as he strolled past NFL.com's very much alive, but very much old, Gil Brandt. He stopped, the camera panned over to Gil and Neon Deion quipped "And

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-8251729575584680412009-04-24T20:47:00.001-05:002009-04-27T22:38:40.844-05:00

Reports of Matt Stafford's camp demanding a GUARANTEED $40 million and the week that it's taking to convince him to join the Detroit Lions with the #1 overall pick lead us to believe that it's not so much the perennial losing, the being a citizen of the poorest major city in America, the high likelihood of being the victim of a violent crime (1 in 60!), or even the dibilitating cold weather. No

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-7258845896072248382009-04-21T15:23:00.005-05:002009-04-27T22:28:29.789-05:00

Still living together, but no longer in love, ArmAss is finally gathering up our shit and moving in with WordPress. Once we get settled in and hang up our autographed Maurice Clarrett jersey, we're gonna undergo a Donatella Versace-esque quest for eternal beauty yet again.So, bear with us while we stick the site with Botox and consult with Octomom on Kegel excerises. Over the next few days, you

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-36852501833781770342009-04-20T17:36:00.002-05:002009-04-20T17:44:15.255-05:00

Like Yogi Bear emerging from the darkest caverns of Jellystone Park, Armchair Association creeps out of the shadows groggy, stiff, and downright hungry.The NFL Draft is next week, free agency is running wild, fantasy football will be bearing down on us before we know it. I understand at this point, I'm likely talking to no one at all. But, that's OK. I will have you all back shortly, because

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-41690154972307463912009-03-02T21:04:00.002-06:002009-03-02T21:48:40.624-06:00

Over the weekend, Matt Cassel, former clipboard holder for Carson Palmer, Matt Leinart, and Tom Brady, was traded to the Kansas City Chiefs. From the sounds of it, you would have though that Tom Brady had dumped Gisele Bundchen for Tub Girl (if you don't know, I wouldn't recommend Googling that one).The trade in question goes like this: Matt Cassel and Mike Vrabel for a 2nd round pick (#34

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-25458245020473853432009-01-13T12:59:00.003-06:002009-01-13T13:18:25.487-06:00

The Associated Press held it's annual voting for NFL's Most Offensive Player of the Year award today. Seventy-six journalists cast their ballots and determined Dick "Darkie" Rapecock the winner. Rapecock had a quiet season on the grid iron, but by Sunday evening, Rapecock could be found attending local Neo-Nazi gatherings or sneaking into the NFL's Play60 foundation to heckle fat kids.

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-13775215166325300972008-08-15T16:10:00.005-05:002008-08-18T14:11:41.323-05:00

PRESENTED BY DRAFTMIX.COM - FANTASY SPORTS FOR MONEYRound one in the booksThe Sports Muffin took the gold.More results coming.See, did I tell you?Damn! That's wasted space!I'll try again here.The Hungry ActorTook home the silver medal,The second best hack.Pyle of List won bronze.With 400% moreHot chicks than others.Get a load of this,Now it's time for the haikus.Get yo' popcorn, bitch!Hugging

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-78768839566883535582008-08-14T10:54:00.008-05:002008-08-14T16:08:20.604-05:00

Once regarded as THE difference makers in fantasy football, the running back has seen it's value drop off in the past years. They're still the most important aspect of your fantasy football team, but they're no longer the oxygen to the human body-they're now more like...food. You can survive for a while without them, but without it, you're gonna die eventually.The problem is the committee virus

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-701972297415117592008-08-11T10:11:00.003-05:002008-08-11T11:04:09.642-05:00

This has nothing to do with sports in anyway, but I was inspired by The Sports Muffin's Marathon Day post. I detail this college flashback in hopes that it inspires my still young readership to take part in something like this. It's natural and it's imperative to achieve spiritual enlightenment. I heard the Dalai Lama pulled one of these on his 6th birthday.Anyhow, back in the ol' college days

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-20152463941798658142008-08-08T09:25:00.010-05:002008-08-09T11:02:14.969-05:00

PRESENTED BY DRAFTMIX.COM - FANTASY SPORTS FOR MONEYLadies and gentlemen, welcome to the first annual Sports Blogolympics! It's a place where the finest sports bloggers have gathered together to match wits and show off their writing prowess. Quite often ridiculed by the few, the asinine, the compensated sports writers of America, we stand proud. We constantly scoop the press, we make light

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-2329271474375528012008-08-07T14:56:00.003-05:002008-08-07T15:14:53.001-05:00

After last year's rousing success and the overwhelming command my wife had over most everyone who attempted to beat her, it's time to do it again. So, without further ado, here's your chance again to beat my wife in NFL Pick 'Em.Step 1: If you don't already have a Yahoo! account, you'll need one.Step 2:Go here: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/pickem/register/joingroupStep 3: Group ID -

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-1753965844974322642008-07-30T14:07:00.007-05:002008-07-31T09:43:46.912-05:00

Out of nowhere, suddenly the quarterback position has become the new running back. Last season three quarterbacks finished with more fantasy points than the first running back (Tom Brady, Tony Romo, and Peyton Manning). Then after LT, three more QBs (Drew Brees, Derek Anderson, and Brett Favre) placed ahead of the #2 scoring RB (Brian Westbrook). Then, take into account that there were 10 QBs

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-32133632294180471022008-07-24T10:05:00.005-05:002008-07-24T14:39:47.167-05:00

Here we are, folks. Two weeks from the majestic triumph of human spirit, where all of the nations in the world set aside their differences and unite in competition to the glory of us all as we remain glued...come on. No, nobody really watches the Olympics anymore. Well, sometimes we watch the gymnastics for the internal strugle. (Oh my God, they'd be so hot in bed! Jesus, man, they look like

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-71991636231225869522008-07-23T10:01:00.000-05:002008-07-23T10:02:04.385-05:00

Get into it!!!

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-74910637854115220422008-07-10T10:51:00.004-05:002008-07-10T12:06:43.403-05:00

The MLB All-Star Game and all of the festivities that surround it are headed our way next week. My favorite event of the break is the Home Run Derby. It's been my favorite since I was a kid. It's the one chance in the season to see normally focused and restrained players break out of their shells and have some fun. There's sweaty man hugs with David Ortiz, there's houses to be won, there's

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-87182121905767568592008-07-09T16:08:00.002-05:002008-07-09T16:13:07.397-05:00

You like how I used capitalization in the "NOW AVAILABLE" to add excitement to the statement? Well, you should, because it's a very exciting statement. For everyone. It's exciting for me because it means that I can finally take a break from 2 months of staring at stats and spreadsheets. It's exciting for YOU because now you don't have to do any of the work that I just did for you.Read about

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-77252655418328469912008-06-18T11:36:00.020-05:002008-06-18T21:15:54.929-05:00

Ever wonder which television or movie character best describes your favorite baseball team? No? Yeah, well, that's probably normal. But, now that your interest is piqued, let me lay 'em on the table for you:Arizona Diamondbacks - The Monster from Cloverfield - First, everything is normal. Business as usual. Then all of the sudden you show up, wreck up the place and disappear. Then, as we

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-41932942657821355632008-06-04T09:35:00.003-05:002008-06-04T11:05:09.997-05:00

With huge advances in Armchair Association just over the horizon: the 2008 RotoDestroyer Fantasy Football Draft Kit, The ALL NEW 2008 RotoDestroyer Project-o-Rater (a weekly tool that projects the weekly NFL scores and top fantasy players at each position, it's initial testing last season went well (60-70% accuracy). The Project-o-Rater will be available for FREE all season long as part of

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-10027571739801489982008-05-23T16:09:00.005-05:002008-05-23T17:03:19.681-05:00

I was listening to ESPN Radio a few minutes ago and the two top headlines of the day were: Pac-Man Jones owes $20K to Caesar's Palace and Ross Tucker, former offensive lineman for the Patriots, says Belichick used Injured Reserve players for practice.Really?Is this what we've succumb to? These are the major headlines in sports today? My immediate reaction to both stories: So what?! It's time

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-76244988850161679522008-05-16T15:29:00.011-05:002008-05-16T23:23:46.321-05:00

Well, little did most of America know, the 2008 MLB Amateur Draft kicks off on June 5th. Unlike the NFL Draft and it's months of hypothesizing and glory holing that goes on before it and the NBA Draft with their wily lottery draft. No, the MLB draft loses a little luster to the quick and to the point drafts of the NFL and NBA. With 50 rounds plus Supplemental drafts, the MLB draft is carried

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-14223049447053238812008-04-29T15:40:00.002-05:002008-04-29T16:28:40.133-05:00

Everywhere I look these days, grown men are talking about American Idol like they USED to talk about sports. Every week on the local 9:00 news, our FOX station has a segment on the goings on of this week's American Idol. And I'm not talking about at the end of the broadcast, after all the important news has been given. I'm talking about mid-broadcast, right after the "Body Found In A Dumpster"

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-81604049558355592892008-04-26T16:13:00.010-05:002008-04-28T16:59:34.341-05:00

So, here we are again. The day that makes Vidal Sassoon their commissions as interns spend weeks slathering on hair gel and industrial grade sealants to Kiper's hair helmet in preperation for today. I have cracked open a bottle on Absinthe that I got from a friend for Christmas. The Green Fairy is what they call it in France. I call it some licorice smelling anti-freeze. It tastes as bad as

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37105112.post-74138052210899112132008-04-25T13:17:00.010-05:002008-04-25T14:52:38.225-05:00

Sitting in living rooms, kitchens, and agent's offices across America at this very moment are around 1000 players who have been poked, prodded, and pranced over the past few months trying to determine whether or not they're draft material. 255 of those 1000 will be deemed worthy tomorrow and Sunday. One test will weigh heavily on the minds of GMs and coaches throughout the NFL: The Wonderlic.

Polish Powerhousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06592087993534487883noreply@blogger.com6